sugar cookies fucking suck when it comes to cookies, they’re like the stupid shriveled grape in a bunch that’s too sad to eat why would you eat sugar cookies when there are so many actually good cookies sugar cookies are fucking awful and so are you if you choose them over any other cookie
ihopericksantorum: I hope Chip Skylark writes a song about Rick Santorum called ‘Icky Ricky’
I am an emotional wreck.
And the thing is I don’t even like relationships I am not a person who takes part in relationships before Corey, I literally never had a relationship that lasted more than a couple months because fuck that and now like here I am three years later and that bastard breaks up with me how did he trick me into being in this situation
unlubricated-anal-sex: people who believe the whole “if a key opens a lot of locks it’s a good key, but if a lock opens to a lot of keys it’s a bad lock!!!” shit about sex if my vagina is a lock, your dick sure as hell isn’t the key because when you buy a lock, the key usually comes with it you fuckheads as in i have the fucking key to my own vagina, not you and no im not letting you in...
Cardinal Timothy M. Dolan of New York authorized payments of as much as $20,000...– The New York Times, “In Milwaukee Post, Cardinal Authorized Paying Abusers.” Jesus fucking Christ. (via inothernews) That’s shitty as fuck, but at least they’re getting them out of the churches? This is my best attempt at a glass-half-full approach to basically being paid to rape...
I am so sleepy.
One good thing about my job being absolutely exhausting is that I can go to sleep at the same time as normal humans.
I tricked her into marrying me. How smart am I?– Denny Duquette
Jackson: I think it's weird that the jaguars were cannibals.
Jackson: Aztecs. Sorry.
Family counters flesh-eating bacteria with faith →
pantsareforposers: christiantheatheist: In the four weeks since his daughter cut her leg in the Tallapoosa River, Andy Copeland has experienced several low points. But nothing was as desperate as a moment in the surgical waiting room on May 4. A doctor called from the operating room at Tanner Medical Center in Carrollton, Georgia, where his daughter was having surgery. “When your daughter...
So I'm doing this play.
And one of the guys - actually, the male lead - has a speech impediment. And I’m not trying to be a bitch or anything like that. He’s really nice and likable. But you can’t understand a word he says. And I’m all for people doing what they want to do no matter what, but it’s really hard to have a speaking part in a play when no one can understand what you’re...
I’m an Iraq war veteran, though I very rarely tell people that. Partly because I...– Sullivan Reader, discussing Memorial Day. More like it here. (via letterstomycountry)
I will never be over losing Denny Duquette.